What To Do When Things Don't Go Your Way

The act of surrender and patience is one that's often talked about, and it sounds so dreamy, doesn't it? 

Whatever ails you - just let it go.

Whatever you're pissed off about - take a deep breath, forgive, and let it go.

The thing that makes you nearly piss yourself because you're so damn scared? Trust. Surrender. What will be, will be.

That's the thing about the realm of self-development, you can read about it until you're blue in the face - but it's not until you put it into action that you're able to really embody the knowledge. You can say, "Yeah, I already know everything there is know." or "Whatever, I've heard that before, doesn't work for me." 

What about those times when you're feeling so resistant that you just say "fuck it"? Or when you're feeling so overwhelmed that you'd rather scream? Or the times when you're so exhausted just the mere act of getting out of bed feels enormous?

To be clear: that's where growth lives. It's not in the moments when life is moving along with ease, it's not when you're blissed out in meditation, or laying in shavasana on your yoga mat. It's when you're being challenged and called upon to expand into a new way of being. To step into your power and own your truth - and that shit is uncomfortable. Hard. Messy, even.


I wanted to share a story with you that I share with my tribe a couple of weeks ago... a story from the depths of motherhood. It's a journey that has taught me countless lessons, often the same lessons over and over (and over) again - and will continue to do just that.

My daughter came down with a cold, which means everything gets turned upside down. Getting simple chores done? Nope. I've got a little girl clinging to my legs, begging for me to hold her. A smooth bed time where she drifts peacefully to sleep? Think again.

At night, she woke up countless times - screaming. Refusing to be set down, refusing anything other than being held and cuddled. I had finally calmed her down and put her back in her crib, hoping to get another couple of hours of sleep myself... but I could hear her chatting to herself, rolling around, playing.

Until, yep. More screaming. It was 5am and she was up for the day. After an already rough night.

In those moments, the desire to throw my arms up in the air and shout out, "I give up!" is strong. It's easy to get angry, it's easy to say, "Why me?"

It's easy to say, "Great. Now my WHOLE DAY IS RUINED!" 

Because that's what happens when things don't go our way, right?

It doesn't have to be that way.

What if we relinquished the thought that we need to control everything in our lives?

What if, by letting go of the need to control, we put surrender into action? 

Surrender - in that moment - for me, looked like taking three deep belly breaths with my eyes closed, and literally thinking to myself, "I cannot control this situation, but I can choose my reaction."

It meant moving slower than usual - and giving myself permission to do so. 
It meant responding to my daughter's needs by showing up with love, not resentment.

And when I found myself drifting back to that space where exhaustion takes over and I start throwing myself a little pity party, I opened my heart to the act of surrender. The act of saying, "Even though things aren't going my way, I'm going to find the love and joy in THIS way regardless."


Yes, transformation begins with your mindset. Yes, I completely understand just how difficult it is to rework your entire way of thinking in the moment. 

Trust me when I say, that's where it begins. In those little moments when you take a step back and start to question how you're showing up - in your relationships, with your children, at your job, and the ways you show up for yourself.

It's the moments when there's a little whisper that asks you, "How would my life be different if I choose a different reaction? If I choose to alter my perspective? If I chose love?"

Then choosing to rise up so that you can truly become a conscious creator in each and every moment - like the badass trailblazer that you truly are.

It's not easy, but I'm right there with you.

What does surrender look like for you? I'd love for you to leave a comment and let me know what's going on in your world.

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