Live Life On Your Terms: With Kylie Aloi

Today I have something extra special to share: the finale of the Live Life On Your Terms interview series. Having the incredible honour of connecting and sharing inspiring women from all around the world has undoubtedly opened my heart to even more gratitude.

When I began the series, I was craving authenticity, inspiration, and the kind of connection that goes beneath surface-level conversations. I wanted to get to the core - the heart of what affects each and every one of us. From the way we choose to live and what lights us up, to moments of overwhelm and how to move through struggle.

I've been touched by each and every interview that has graced this screen - and today is no exception.

Kylie Aloi sifted through her own set of challenges, unsure of what it was she was passionate about, and confused about which direction to take in her life. It wasn't until she was introduced to the world of coaching that it clicked.

Today, Kylie is a passionate coach driven by connection and honouring our unique individual needs who helps driven business women tune out everyone else's ideas, expectations and demands and tune back into their own.

Can I get a hell yes?! 

Without further ado, the last inspiring Live Life On Your Terms interview, with the gorgeous Kylie Aloi...

Tell us more about you: who are you and what are you all about?

I’m Kylie Aloi and I run Be Present Coaching amongst other things in my life! I made a decision a while back to live my life in a way that is true for me and to be guided by my values. So far it seems to be working really well!

My top two values in my life are for connection and knowledge and in my business I express these through offering one on one coaching, my writing, speaking and the way I run events. I want to be working with people that are ready to tune out everyone else and go back to tuning in to what it is they want from their life and work.

What does living life on your own terms mean to you?

Living life on my terms is about being truthful to myself and what it is I really want. I understand that not everyone around me will agree or make the same decision but I have got to be okay with that.

My coaching work is a great example. Many people were supportive of me starting my own business but a lot of people don’t understand coaching and what it is all about. I persevered anyway as I knew this was something that I believed in and wanted to explore. Like everyone starting a business (especially in the online world) I have experienced setbacks and challenges but at the end of the day I really love it so I just keep going. Even if it means I work 2 “day jobs” and fit my Be Present work in amongst it all!

On a personal note I have shared quite openly about the fact my Fiancé and I called off our wedding last year (read about it here and here.) We are still engaged but aren’t planning another wedding for any time soon. We are completely okay with this but it confuses some people!  The engagement meant a lot to me for many different reasons and there was part of me that was so excited for our big day but nothing compares to how good it felt to finally cancel it and be done with the wedding for now!

It was a roller coaster leading up to this decision as there was so much unknown but I knew that I had to choose what felt right for me. Once it was all said and done I experienced such a huge sense of relief and freedom that there has never been a doubt in my mind that I made the right decision for me. I think this process helped me in my business too. I have always been head strong and determined but I know from personal experience how easy it can be to get swept up in “I should do this’, “this is just what you do” that I wanted to remind people that you should tune into yourself when making choices, not everyone else!

Share with us a personal challenge that you’ve had to overcome and what limiting beliefs you had to break down along the way.

My experience with anxiety has been my most time consuming challenge. It is something that on different days still requires my attention and focus. I have struggled with anxiety for as long as I could remember but never had proper help until a few years back. My anxiety was at it’s worst and my triggers were morphing into areas I had never felt before. I knew then that once and for all I needed to get a handle on it.

So I found a psychologist who I really connected with and I spent time learning about how anxiety works, my own triggers and finding the tools that worked for me to help deal with. It does still flare up every now and then or I have thoughts that in the past would have lead me into a constant state of anxiety or having a panic attack but I approach it now from a completely different place. It still requires effort and attention but I know that I have tools to help me get through and I might have a period of overwhelm and discomfort but I will get through it. I also know how to look after myself when it does flair up and this is really important to as not taking time for self-care can prolong the effects of anxiety or lead into another flare up. I recently was just on ‘The Anxious Poet Podcast’ where I chat all things anxiety if you would like to find out more on my experience. You can listen here or search ‘The Anxious Poet Podcast on iTunes.

When life gets hectic and overwhelming, what do you do to feel more grounded and balanced?

My top 2 values are connection and knowledge and I use these in my personal life and business life. Connection is the most important thing for me, I am an extrovert and get energy from spending time with people, especially those closest to me. So I always make time to spend with friends and family. I also love learning and food. I need to get exercise more into a regular routine but if I can eat well and spend time with loved ones that really does the trick for me. That being said the older I get I do appreciate blocks of time to myself as well so I make time for this too.

When it comes to creating change in your life, what does putting it into action look like for you? (And how do you handle when/ if resistance pops up?)

I am a big thinker and once something clicks for me I am someone who struggles with patience as I usually just throw myself in and wonder why people haven’t caught up with me! I have learnt that if I feel like I want to do something and feel resistance that this is just because I care and it is important, I try to push through the discomfort with the mentality that as long as I learn something then it has been worthwhile. I know not everything is always going to work out exactly as I want, even though that can be frustrating!

What are the top two nuggets of wisdom or advice you would give to someone?

Understand your values and then make your decisions. You will always make the right decision when you do this.

Have a solid friend or couple of friends that you can talk to and be yourself around. You don’t need people’s approval but talking ideas and feelings through is so important. There has started to be research done into the benefits female friendships have on our life span and health and I couldn’t agree more. I couldn’t survive without my close girlfriends; they are my rocks!

What is one quote that really resonates with you, or that you choose to live life by?

The quote if from Theodore Roosevelt but I came across it through Brene Brown’s work:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
 

RAPID FIRE Q's:

I can’t go a day without… tea and reading

Following the trail of my curiosities means…listening to myself and daring greatly

When I feel fear…I know it is because I care and is the reason to keep pushing through

I feel joyful when…when I am surrounded by those that I love or writing

I’m most grateful for…The little things each day that I notice, the sun rising, the smell of tea, laughing with a friend so many things!

Want to know more?

If you are in Melbourne on the 18th August, I have my next ‘Be You For You’ event coming up! Tickets are on sale now but it is all about ladies and guys coming together to have a night sharing resources that represent their work values. If you click here you can read more about what these events are like or feel free to contact me with any questions.

As I previously mentioned, I am on the latest episode of ‘The Anxious Poet Podcast’ you can listen to our chat here or search for the podcast in iTunes.

Kylie Aloi is a writer, coach, speaker who runs Be Present Coaching. Her work and events are all about reminding women to tune out the noise from everyone else and focus back on themselves and their values.

Everything Kylie does is driven by her belief in fostering meaningful connections with her clients and community. She is someone who continually questions and seeks answers from those around her and the experiences that life throws her way. Her life would be incomplete without copious cups of tea, books, lists and conversations that are almost always food related. Stay connected with Kylie through her website , Instagram and, Facebook.

Let's show Kylie some mega love in the comments, shall we? Share what resonated for you.

Personally, unlocking from the "I should do this" and "this is just what you do" has been an incredible journey, and I'm so grateful for this beautiful, gentle reminder from Kylie.


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