Live Life On Your Terms: with Liz Applegate

You know when you meet someone and you are WILDLY inspired by them? Someone who without a doubt is walking their talk and embracing every part of their life? When you are so touched by their generosity, kindness, and ability to hold space for you?

That's Liz. A transformational life coach who specializes in helping you navigate life transitions with ease and celebration so that you can feel good in your skin and fall in love with your life. 

Liz has personally transitioned through marriage and the birth of her three sons, and some time later was rocked by a divorce and finding herself as a single mom. Since then, she's turned in her high heels for cowboy boots and flip flops, has remarried, become a step-mom, a grandmother, a vegetarian, left her 9-to-5 and created her own business and became a certified life coach. (BOOM!) 

Remember when I said she's wildly inspiring?

She has inspired me to keep going, keep putting one foot in front of the other, and to never stop exploring the depths of who I am (because really, you never know what you'll discover if you simply open your mind to it).

In her own words, "Show up each day with wide-eyed wonderment and a heart filled with gratitude." Needless to say, I'm beyond thrilled to introduce you to her today. Enjoy!

Tell us more about you: who are you and what are you all about? (Your story, your truth)

I'm Liz Applegate, transformational life coach, mom of three sons, a stepmom to a daughter and son, and g-ma (grandma); also lucky to be the wife of the sweetest man I've ever met. I’m a lover of good red wine, live music, traveling, reading and all animals and have recently adopted a vegetarian lifestyle. 

My story? Well it's been one of great highs and great lows but it wasn't until I hit my 40's that I really stepped into my own and embraced everything about myself, mistakes, flaws and all.

You see, I felt that I had always been "too something": too loud, too quiet, too pretty, too plain, too thin, too fat, too funny, too solemn, too young, too old.

It was exhausting bending to the desires of others and never feeling content for just being. At age 39, I found myself divorced, a single mom working for a non-profit and qualifying for poverty level income. I was scared, hurt and felt very alone. But in hindsight it was the best thing that happened to me.

I was told once that divorce was like throwing a deck of cards into the air and then running around catching the important ones. It’s a brilliant analogy of that time in my life and I learned which cards really were worth catching...and the "Me" card was one of them.

What does living life on your own terms mean to you?

It means living your truth. That person you are in the very depth of your being, your very soul...even if it means going against expectations of family or friends. It’s quitting that job or leaving that relationship that is hurting you. It’s saying “yes” to the right and “no” to the wrong and not feeling guilty for either. It’s taking a stand for what you really believe in. 

Share with us a personal challenge that you’ve had to overcome and what limiting beliefs you had to break down along the way.

There are so many I could share but one that I am continuing to work on is that I “deserve” love and not everyone is going to leave. 

The word “deserve” has always been a hard one for me and being open to receiving love even more so. I thought sharing my “life story” with someone was being vulnerable but being open to receive love is really the vulnerable part. When you have an expectation that those you love will not stick around it’s easy to close that part of yourself off. 

Because of this, I adopted a very independent nature, but not in a good way. More in a way of pushing people away, not asking for help and not having my words and actions match. I was out of integrity with myself. 

It’s in being a mom for the past 23 years and being married to my patient husband for the past 9 (almost 10!) that I’ve realized that I am “enough”, just as I am, to accept what is being given to me. I am learning to accept that I am enough and deserve the love given to me. 

This may not seem like a life altering challenge but really it is. Giving and accepting love is the basis of everything good in this world. 

When life gets hectic and overwhelming, what do you do to feel more grounded and balanced?

I tend to pull inward and isolate myself when I am overwhelmed. So reminding myself to spend time with those who matter the most is important to my groundedness.

This can be a struggle for me: to realize what is needed when I’m at that point.  So I look for physical cues like a heaviness or tiredness that trigger an inner conversation, “Hey Liz, what’s this about? Are you really tired? Or do you need to sit in the sun?”

And for me “sitting in the sun” is either literal, figurative or maybe both.  

And yes, I do tend to talk to myself. :-)

When it comes to creating change in your life, what does putting it into action look like for you? (And how do you handle when/ if resistance pops up?)

I break down the change I desire into manageable steps. Saying something like “I’m going to quit my 9-5 job and start my own business in 2 months” is unreasonable and over-whelming. 

Change needs to be a habit and habits can’t be learned in one day. I find that smaller milestones can be helpful for myself and my clients.

I also feel really knowing yourself and discovering what resistance looks like for you is key to moving toward lasting change. Identify it for yourself and then looking underneath the resistance. There is always some wisdom there and usually it’s around fear of change. Once you understand this, it's so much easier to move forward. 

What are the top two nuggets of wisdom or advice you would give to someone?

Don't get caught in “never” or “always”. Saying, ‘I’ll never...” or “I’ll always ....” really limits yourself on other possibilities. Truth is, you never know what or when opportunities will present themselves and boxing yourself into these beliefs can lead to judging yourself and others. I wish someone had told me this when I was a young mother!
Live as if. If you want to have a happier life, what would a happier “you” be doing? If you want to have a healthier lifestyle, what would a healthier “you” be doing? Look at where you want to go, picture yourself already there and create that life today. It won't happen in the wishing. 

By the way, I’m glad I reminded myself of these!

What is one quote that really resonates with you, or that you choose to live life by?

“My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style” ~ Maya Angelou

RAPID FIRE Q'S:

I can’t go a day without… music
Following the trail of my curiosities means… being open to the wonders that life brings. 
When I feel fear… I turn into a very negative person and it’s not pretty or fun to be around. I try to take a deep breath while offering myself some grace, give fear a hug and listen to what it is trying to tell me.
I feel joyful when… all my children are home and laughter is filling the house. 
I’m most grateful for… every single day. It’s a gift. 

Want to know more?

April is a big month! I’m leading a 4-week virtual course You Courageous Purpose and in celebration for her 50th birthday (the BIG 5-0! Holy shit) on April 4th, I’m opening up 50 free coaching sessions.  I’ve also been challenged to finally launch my podcast in April.

Liz Applegate is a certified life coach, second-chance enthusiast and positive change facilitator. She works with clients to help them (re)define midlife and (re)create the life they want to live through life transitions.

She can be found at ElizabethApplegate.com | Facebook | Twitter | Instagram

 

Let's give Liz some love in the comments - & if you know a few people who you think would love to read this interview, go right ahead & share it with your friends.


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