Each week I'm reminded why the idea of the Live Life On Your Terms series sparked in my mind. From the get go, I had the clear vision of what it would be about...
But the why? First of all, it's a TOTAL freaking love fest. Each and every week I'm floored by the inspiration that these incredible women share, we connect on a deeper level, we raise the vibration of the world wide web, we encourage each other to live up to our vast potential, we reach out, we inspire. A sisterhood coming together, arm-in-arm.
I could not be more excited to introduce you to Sarah Jensen today - because she's the epitome of everything I've just mentioned. Her calling and passion is helping women everywhere kick ass, love themselves, live their dreams and rock their goals. She's all about creating a BS free zone filled with information to inspire, support and empower women to own the shit out of who they are, to rock the boat, to tear up the box and to write their own rules. (Um, HELL YEAH! Who doesn't want more of that?!)
Everything she does is centered around truth, trust, and transparency - and can I just mention, her sincerity and warmth? While I've never met Sarah in person, her authenticity shines through - it's bright and blinding, in the best way possible. I was absolutely floored by her incredible spirit and I know you will be too. Enjoy!
Tell us more about you: who are you and what are you all about? (Your story, your truth)
My name is Sarah Jensen. I’m a writer, speaker and life coach and I work with amazing women to help them rock their goals. I’m a total dork who loves 80s music and does the running man to celebrate the good stuff in life. I’m also a huge fan of chocolate, travel, amazing food and getting lost in a great book.
My truth is that I was a really unhappy person living a pretty messy life for a really long time.
A few years ago I landed in one of those deep, confronting moments of choice – check out completely or make a change. I chose change, found a great counsellor and did a whole lot of self-work. It was hard and scary at times but it was so worth it and it led me to a place of wanting to help other women who were going through their own struggles, who felt lost and like they were existing rather than living. I became a coach and started working with women to help them create space and permission to explore what they really want from life, to help them find their voice, embrace their confidence and rediscover their passion.
I believe that every single woman in this world deserves to feel the way she wants to feel, to live the life she wants to live, to define it for herself, to claim it and to create it. I believe you can do it, you deserve it and you’re good enough exactly as you are. I believe in creating a safe space for women to share their truth, to connect, support and empower each other, to own who they are, to love who they are and to write their own rules.
What does living life on your own terms mean to you?
It means giving yourself permission to be you, all of you, in every moment. To let your uniqueness shine through. To do things your way, on your terms and in your time frame.
It means giving yourself permission to play, to dabble, to try things on for size, to love what you love and release what you don’t. It means letting go of ‘should’ ‘could’ and ‘one day’ and asking yourself ‘what do I need in this moment? What do I want in this moment?’ and allowing that to be enough.
It means tuning out the noise and tuning in to you – what matters to you? What do you want from your life? How do you want to feel? And being ok with the answers.
It means not taking the good or the bad personally, being comfortable enough in your own body, mind and heart to follow your own path and not care what anyone else thinks of you or the choices you make. It’s being you – for you - and knowing that you’re amazing exactly as you are.
Share with us a personal challenge that you’ve had to overcome and what limiting beliefs you had to break down along the way.
Oh my goodness there have been SO many challenges along the way in life and in business so far, many of them created by me and my messy mind or me getting in my own way!
The one that comes instantly to mind is my in person workshop series called Rock Your Goals. I’d wanted to get out from behind the screen and host workshops for AGES before I actually did it, but I was so full of fear. The soundtrack in my head went like this…
“What do you have to say? Why would anyone listen to you? You can’t speak in public, besides no one will come and if they do they’ll hate it and want a refund, but then who would PAY to hear you speak? Seriously! You can’t do this. You’re not good enough. You suck!”
Pretty full on, hey?
What helped me get through this, take action and go on to host wonderful workshops (that have since won an award!) was to get myself an incredible coach. She not only helped me with the practical stuff like planning, creating and marketing my events, but more importantly she helped me with all the mental noise. She kept me feeling positive, supported and accountable and offered loads of reassurance that it was going to be ok.
Her belief in me genuinely kept me going and once the first event was all over and I’d had a celebratory wine and done the running man, I was left with that wonderful moment where I realised I’d done it, I felt great about what I’d achieved and I realised how far I’d come. That process stays with me every time I do something new because it reminds me that I can do it, even if it feels scary along the way. Because to me, life is about continuously stretching your comfort zone little by little and growing your confidence by taking action towards your dreams.
When life gets hectic and overwhelming, what do you do to feel more grounded and balanced?
When things get really full on, I find the best way back to balanced is to shut the doors on the noise and the busy and have some alone time. It might be an hour or a whole day, but however long I take, I give myself the space and permission to figure out what I need in that time. One day it might be a bath or a nap, another day it might be time with a beautiful friend or an afternoon watching my favourite TV show. But I don’t have one or two absolute ‘go to’ activities, I treat self-care more like a smorgasbord or a comprehensive room service menu where I can choose exactly what I need in that moment. I’ve learned over time that self-care needs to be fluid and flexible (tweet this!), because I like a lot of things but if I tried to do all of the things on my list all of the time, I’d slide straight back to overwhelm.
When it comes to creating change in your life, what does putting it into action look like for you? (And how do you handle when/ if resistance pops up?)
I have a slightly different process depending on whether it’s change in the form of a big idea that’s come rushing into my life or something I feel I need to shift (for example self-care, work/life balance, health etc.). But ultimately for me, change comes down to looking honestly and objectively at where I’m at now and whether that’s working for me. Do I feel good? What change am I craving? What do I need? What would that change look like in action and why do I want to change?
Asking myself these questions allows me to get really clear about what the change is that I’m trying to create and why I want or need that change. From there I can create a plan of action and dive on in.
I also know that no matter how far along the path I get, there will ALWAYS be resistance. Always.
When it shows up, or the mean voices start saying I can’t, or I find myself procrastinating or self-sabotaging I have a few ways to handle it:
I ask myself “What am I afraid of? What’s the worst that could happen? And what’s the best that could happen?” When fear shows up it’s trying to keep us safe, but 9 times out of 10 it’s really just trying to keep us small and stuck. If you can work through the fear and get logical on its ass, you can usually get it to shut up so you can keep moving forward.
I make things as easy for myself as possible – small steps, little stretches outside the comfort zone, easy to achieve, manageable, path of least resistance style. The more I’m able to approach things with ease and take it one teeny tiny bite sized piece at a time, the more I create a positive habit and the more I’m able to grow my goal rocking muscles in small increments.
I talk it out with a friend. Sometimes you just have to get that shit out of your head and talk it through with someone who gets you. It not only helps to hear yourself say it out loud but you’ll get the added bonus of support, encouragement and logic from a friend who loves you and wants to see you succeed.
I look for evidence from the past that says “yes you can”. So for example, if I’m freaking out on the inside about trying something new, I look at times in the past when I’ve done something that scared me, but it turned out ok. Getting divorced, moving overseas and leaving my day job to work full-time in my business are some of the big examples that come to mind. And instead of buying into the fear, I look at how I felt after I did those things (even if it took a while to feel ‘good’ about the decisions or changes). I try to release the resistance by reassuring myself that every single first in life, no matter how big or small, is quite often terrifying but it usually turns out for the best.
What are the top two nuggets of wisdom or advice you would give to someone?
Yes. You. Can. Whatever it is you want, whatever your dream or goal, you can do it. You have everything you need inside you, you are strong, capable, wonderful and deserving. Back yourself, believe in yourself and go for it.
Know that you’re enough exactly as you are in this moment. You do not need to be anyone or anything other than your true self. (Tweet this!) You are special. You are deserving. You are good enough and you matter.
What is one quote that really resonates with you, or that you choose to live life by?
“There is no one alive that is you-er than you”. Dr Seuss
For years I was this chameleon who shape shifted slightly with every person I was with. I’d stand a little differently, speak a little differently, use different words – I’d match the person whose sphere I was in. There was work Sarah, Sarah with the girls, Sarah with her boyfriend, daughter Sarah, quiet Sarah, party Sarah and underneath it all, unhappy, people pleasing Sarah who just wanted to be loved and accepted. It was exhausting.
I love this quote because it reminds me to embrace the silly, crazy, messy, imperfect perfection that is me. To be wholly and honestly me in every moment. To accept myself as I am and to be me exactly as I am, flaws, fabulous and all, with every single person I meet. I am who I am, and it turns out I’m not so bad after all.
I can’t go a day without… laughter, sleep and chocolate.
Following the trail of my curiosities means… learning, adventure, exploration, discovery and travel.
When I feel fear… I know I’m on the right track and something exciting is just around the corner.
I feel joyful when… I’m out in nature, eat amazing food, have incredible conversations with lovely people and when I’ve had a good night’s sleep.
I’m most grateful for… my wonderful, patient partner Brendan.
Want to know more?
I’m really excited to share that my beautiful friend Rachael Kable and I are hosting a day of meaningful mindfulness and inspired goal setting for women at our ALIGNED full day event in Melbourne on Saturday, 25 June 2016. For more information or to join us click here.
Sarah Jensen is a sought after life coach, internationally published writer and creator of the award winning Rock Your Goals workshops.
Regularly interviewed on topics including writing, goal rocking, hosting sold out workshops and authentic living, Sarah’s work has been featured in the Huffington Post, ROOOAR Magazine, Inspired Coach and Event Head Magazine.
Sarah is a passionate advocate for empowering women to get clear, get inspired and live their dreams. She also loves exploring the world, getting lost in a good book and eating amazing food.
Connect with Sarah at www.sarahjensen.com.au
Let's give Sarah some love in the comments, shall we? And if you know anyone who would love this interview, please go ahead and share with your friends xo