Let me paint a picture for you: Day after day, I woke up dreading the day ahead of me, letting a list of get-out-of-work scenarios dance wildly in my mind. I'd head out on the morning commute, bumper-to-bumper, day-dreaming about what life could be like, what spoke true to me. As I pulled up to the building where I spent the majority of my waking life, I'd gently take a few deep breaths. Another day - although, all the days seemed to be morphing together, practically unrecognizable from the day or hell, even the week before. I wasn't happy.
Every other area in my life just seemed to click, yet, there I was. Sitting behind a desk in a dimly lit office, with the buzz of fluorescents above me. The bing of email notifications, the shuffle of paperwork, the tap-tap-tap of the keyboard. I had a job that paid well, provided great benefits, and gave me security. Isn't that the point of adulthood? I mean, just last year I finally had hit that 5-year mark and was awarded an extra weeks vacation. One more week closer to freedom, right?
Except, when I took a look at the future, this is what I saw: emptiness, boredom, and lacklustre career goals.
That was it. I quit my job.
Does this sound like you? Or are you feeling this way about another area of your life? Maybe it's a relationship, a commitment, or something you use to love that's no longer cutting it?
GET REAL WITH YOURSELF
You know that saying "fake it 'til you make it"? Well, convincing yourself that you're happy when you aren't isn't going to make you happy, it's just going to make you a liar.
The top two questions that I asked myself:
1. How do I want to feel?
2. What will make me feel that way?
Feeling any other way isn't worth it. Period.
Cutting out anything that doesn't make you feel how you want to? Freaking liberating.
A lesson I've learned: We all have bad days, the days when you're inner-critic is glowing like a light beam, shining all over the goddamn place, and we're completely blinded by it. Then, someone comes along and asks us how we're feeling, or how our day is, and we politely say, "I'm good, thanks." or "Oh, I'm fine." I cannot express to you how utterly freeing it is to turn to the other person and simply say, "You know what? I'm actually feeling a bit off today."
Honesty is a beautiful thing. (And so is connection.)
The cushy comfort of security, money, and "what you know" is alluring, but it doesn't always provide you with freedom. With my job (and even in past relationships), I dedicated so much of my time, effort, and self that I couldn't, wouldn't, and didn't leave, when I should have. That meant all that time I invested was POOF! Finito! Gone. Wasted. I lingered, and held onto the hope that it would improve, and miraculously fix itself. (Ahem, it doesn't.)
Popping your foot out of the area lovingly labelled as "comfort" can feel, well, uncomfortable. Your go-to reaction might be to push that feeling down, run and hide, and ignore it. To stick with what you know. That feeling of resistance means that you're onto something. Change, transformation, growth. All of it. And more.
What do you want more of? Comfort, security, money, and sticking to what you know? Even if that means settling for less, never experiencing true joy, feeling that never-ending nudge of "there's got to be something more out there"?
Be bold. Deem yourself a bad-ass risk taker. Take a chance. Give expectations the heave-ho. Never, ever settle.
IT'S OKAY NOT TO HIT 'PERFECTION'
Just throwing this one 'out there'. Leaving a job (or anything else that sucks) doesn't necessarily mean finding your dream gig, sometimes it just means that you're not in a place that's taking up way too much negative space. Sometimes it's just one step up to happiness, and that's okay.
Let me just repeat that: It's okay to not be perfect. It's okay to not land your dream gig rightthisverysecond. It's okay to just take one tiny baby step. It's okay. It really, really is.
THE FUTURE'S BRIGHT
You are the creator of your Universe. Everything you have and are about to have, you have manifested into existence. The only way to achieve the life you want, is to become an active participant in it. The only way to change your circumstances, the negative into positive, is to take action. (You, and only you, have this power. Which, when you think about it, is pretty damn awesome.)
Make today the day you declare that your life is now in your hands.
That you are open to the possibilities the world has to offer.
That you will no longer sit on the sidelines, idly watching life go by.
That you will let go of anything that is no longer serving you, so that you can make space for more. (Abundance, joy, connection, sparkling new opportunities, the whole lot.)
Here and now, make it your mission to shine.
Honour yourself by tapping into your feelings, listening to your gut, and trusting your intuition.
It will never fail you.
LET'S GET REAL: I'd love to take this conversation further, what's been tripping you up, holding you back, just feelin' not quite 'right' lately? Feel free to share in the comments (or connect via email if you'd like to chat one-on-one)
Image via Julian Bialowas (Love his work)