Have you ever felt like the entire planet decided to sit on your shoulders, weighing you down? That your every thought was clouded by darkness that light wasn't even a possibility? And that light at the end of the tunnel was so far off in the distance that you thought for sure you'd never reach it? And even the mere idea of thriving seemed so damn impossible because all you could possibly focus on was just trying to keep your head above water?
Do you feel that way now?
And from where you're sitting, everyone's got it together. Polished, perfected, package-complete with shiny affirmations, and beaming with positivity.
You're looking for a sign, a road map, a way to get there. But how?
"Happiness is a choice."
You hear the words and all you can think to do is roll your eyes, because that coined and oh-so-cliché bumper sticker catchphrase lost its meaning long ago. And hell, it burns like salt in the wound, stings like slap across the face, and is nothing but a crock of shit masked as some fiery piece of wisdom, but is simply an impossible feat to achieve. I've been there.
Happiness and positivity isn't something I've always been armed with. There was a time in my life where I was swallowed up whole by limiting beliefs, etched-in fears, and destructive behaviour. My world was a dark, grey place that I was just trying to survive in. I simply didn't know how to crawl out of the dark hole I was living in. I was sad, alone, confused, and scared.
For years, it went on like this.
Not for lack of trying, because bloody hell, I tried.
You can hope, desire, and dream to your heart's delight but if you don't know how to put a happy life into action, it's all too easy to fall back down that slippery slope that starts replaying all those limiting stories that hold you back, the fears that keep you where you are, and the coping mechanisms that backfire.
Then, one day, it all changed.
I made a choice.
I made a choice to be happy.
My inner pessimist crawled at the idea that the overused, fluffy cliché quote could possibly be true. The choice to be happy was a decision I had made before, but in that moment, it was different. My body shifted, opened up, and I made the decision right then and there to live my best life. To seek love, truth, and abundance. To open up to possibility and wonder. To get curious. To face my fears and dive deeper.
Here's the thing: deciding to choose happiness is easy but what comes after that is equal to fighting for your life. It's uncomfortable, it's excruciating. It means mustering up every morsel of strength, every ounce of courage, and quite literally giving it your all.
It means falling down and picking yourself up again.
Inviting in gentleness and acceptance. Letting go of guilt and shame.
It means letting go.
It's the permission slip to give yourself some slack.
To turning up the feel good dial.
To love. To forgive.
To live. To really live.
It's about trust - trusting that you are right where you need to be, that everything will work itself out - even when that seems like a completely illogical and impossible thing to do.
It's not an overnight process.
It's not a perfectly manicured affirmation designed to heal your life.
It is certainly not shoving the past into the depths of a forgotten land and moving on.
Your survival, your awakening, your salvation is not found in any one experience, in the pages of a book, in a retreat or program, in relying on someone else, or buried in the ground. It is within you.
Some of us have to hit rock bottom, some have to break, others simply yearn for something more, there's that nudge pulling at you where you just know there's something greater in the world, and that something is calling your name.
No matter who you are, everything that you need, you already have.
Listen to your heart.
Take a leap of faith.
You got this. You really do.
The decision to choose happiness was just the beginning of my own transformation. The journey has been full of pure joy, delight, aha moments a plenty just as much as it's been messy, frustrating, and downright gruelling. It's just the catalyst to get you started, now it's time to give it all you've got to make it happen.
Are you ready to live your best life? What's one thing that you can do today to brighten your life? (Nothing's too small!) I'd LOVE to hear your thoughts in the comments x