What to do when nothing makes sense

I can't tell you the amount of times I've sat here, trying to formulate the words that could possibly paint a picture of the spaces I've been in, the lessons I've learnt, and what I've been processing.

As humans, our strength comes from our connections to each other. The stories we share, the space we hold, the resonance you feel when you find your tribe. (That's you.) I can't tell you how many times I've gotten off a coaching call, received an email, or read a comment on one of my posts and thought to myself... "More of that, please. More connection that's deep and genuine. More love, more heart, more sisterhood." 

That desire to share from that deeply personal space has been on my heart for quite some time, but at the same time... sometimes, the words don't reveal themselves.

As the year comes to a close, the energy of reflection and entering the new year with intention is at an all-time high.

I've been making space for that... the processing, reflecting, and the lessons waiting to be unearthed. 

Quite frankly, these past few months have stirred up a lot. If anything, 2016 has not been about subtleties. 

It's in my nature to search for the words, to make sense of it all logically, and bring the lessons to light. It's when there's a (seemingly) lack of answers that I struggle with. Wouldn't it be nice to have everything neat and tidy, tied with a bow? Where it all makes sense and you don't find yourself lost in the unknown or trying desperately to bring forth a sense of clarity to whatever space you find yourself in? 

A few years ago, I left for a solo-retreat in the mountains for some deep healing work. We were using the art of breath to connect with the deepest parts of our psyche, and as I connected to parts of myself that I had long ignored, I found myself trying to make sense of it. Trying to find the words, trying to fit everything together like perfect puzzle pieces. 

In that moment, it hit me. Sometimes we go through experiences and we can't make sense of them, they just are. Our brain clings desperately to the idea that everything needs to be a certain way... but there are times when it's best just to feel it.

To be wherever you are. Without trying to change it. Without trying to shift it. Without the push-pull struggle of needing it to make sense or mean something. To let your body be enveloped by the feelings and sensations that are asking to be moved through you, without steering them in a specific direction.

That's where I am.

Giving myself permission to surrender to the feelings that need to be felt.

Some of which I've pushed away because they've felt a little too uncomfortable for my liking. Some I've tried to gloss over with a coat of positive paint. All of them deserve to be honoured in a way that's different from what comes naturally to me.

But, that's growth, isn't it? Stretching outside of the box of what's comfortable? Trying new ways of being on for size, out of curiosity?

This is what it feels like to be in transition, to be in the midst of transformation.

Honour the ways this is showing up for you, because it's different for everybody.

It's okay if you can't find the words.

It's okay if you feel unsteady and uncertain. 

It's okay if the tears are aching to fall.

It's okay if you feel like your emotions are going to swallow you up whole. It's okay if nothing makes sense. It's okay if the big-ness of what's on your heart absolutely terrifies you. 

It's okay if you don't have the answers.

Be wherever you are. Be here. Right now, right here.

Know that the words will come, eventually. The clarity will make its way to the light. What needs to be known will be unearthed. Everything will unfold in a way that will totally and completely astound you. Trust that you are being guided towards something greater than you could ever dream up.

Know that I'm right here, in the thick of it, walking alongside you.

Here's to entering the new year in a way that's aligned with you. To unsubscribing to feeling like it "should" look a certain way. To throwing out rituals that don't resonate. To writing a new script. To letting your life tell the story of what's really on your heart.

If this resonates with you, leave a comment and share something that's on your heart. I'd love to hear about the things that matter most to you. xx


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