I ASKED: "WHEN IT COMES TO CREATING CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE, WHAT DOES PUTTING IT INTO ACTION LOOK LIKE FOR YOU? HOW DO YOU HANDLE WHEN/ IF RESISTANCE POPS UP?"
Hmm interesting! I tend to seek out change and I do it fairly spontaneously. I get bored with too many routines, so I enjoy newness. I'm an optimistic person, so when resistance arises, my mind usually jumps immediately to the best case scenario or to a possible solution. I really think that's one of the most important pieces to successful entrepreneurship: looking for solutions rather than problems.
Melyssa Griffin | MelyssaGriffin.com
I have a slightly different process depending on whether it’s change in the form of a big idea that’s come rushing into my life or something I feel I need to shift (for example self-care, work/life balance, health etc.). But ultimately for me, change comes down to looking honestly and objectively at where I’m at now and whether that’s working for me. Do I feel good? What change am I craving? What do I need? What would that change look like in action and why do I want to change?
Asking myself these questions allows me to get really clear about what the change is that I’m trying to create and why I want or need that change. From there I can create a plan of action and dive on in.
I also know that no matter how far along the path I get, there will ALWAYS be resistance. Always.
When it shows up, or the mean voices start saying I can’t, or I find myself procrastinating or self-sabotaging I have a few ways to handle it:
I ask myself “What am I afraid of? What’s the worst that could happen? And what’s the best that could happen?” When fear shows up it’s trying to keep us safe, but 9 times out of 10 it’s really just trying to keep us small and stuck. If you can work through the fear and get logical on its ass, you can usually get it to shut up so you can keep moving forward.
I make things as easy for myself as possible – small steps, little stretches outside the comfort zone, easy to achieve, manageable, path of least resistance style. The more I’m able to approach things with ease and take it one teeny tiny bite sized piece at a time, the more I create a positive habit and the more I’m able to grow my goal rocking muscles in small increments.
I talk it out with a friend. Sometimes you just have to get that shit out of your head and talk it through with someone who gets you. It not only helps to hear yourself say it out loud but you’ll get the added bonus of support, encouragement and logic from a friend who loves you and wants to see you succeed.
I look for evidence from the past that says “yes you can”. So for example, if I’m freaking out on the inside about trying something new, I look at times in the past when I’ve done something that scared me, but it turned out ok. Getting divorced, moving overseas and leaving my day job to work full-time in my business are some of the big examples that come to mind. And instead of buying into the fear, I look at how I felt after I did those things (even if it took a while to feel ‘good’ about the decisions or changes). I try to release the resistance by reassuring myself that every single first in life, no matter how big or small, is quite often terrifying but it usually turns out for the best.
Sarah Jensen | SarahJensen.com.au
It usually depends on the situation, but normally I work through the change by journaling heavily, talking with loved ones who understand, taking some time for myself, and tapping into the power of prayer. A healthy blend of all of those things really helps me in periods of transition.
Kayla Hollatz | KaylaHollatz.com
Great question! In the past I've been someone who either did something 150% or not at all. Perfectionism used to get in my way. Now I try to take regular, consistent steps of inspired action towards where I want to be. The beautiful Rachel MacDonald, creator of BEBH once said to me 'Progress over Perfection' and so I am always reminding myself of this when I feel the resistance, which for me shows up in the form of procrastination, popping up. Also, as cliché as this may sound, I work with a coach, I have both a life + business coach and having that support system helps me to continually move through whatever is coming up for me and create the changes I am dreaming of.
Amy MacKenzie | Designing Her Life
Putting change in action for me and doing it in a way that's truly sustainable, involves commitment and devotion to really listen and make space for myself. That happens most consistently when I take time for mindful movement, writing, and connecting with a supportive community. In terms of resistance, what I've realized is that using my own tools to embrace fear and acknowledge it works much better than trying to avoid or escape it. I've come to see fear and resistance as a passenger in my car, especially when I'm headed somewhere new and awesome. The more I can relax enough to see and have a conversation with it, the easier it is to actually drive.
And sometimes I realize my resistance is a gift. There's a certain flavor of resistance that manifests as me being really freaking annoyed with something that I've learned is usually a signal that it's something that I could really use in my life.
Shila Soni | ShilaSoni.com
I begin by using intention to get things rolling - I often create a small piece of art with the prompt for the desired change on it or just write it on some paper, and stick that somewhere I’ll see it repeatedly. I believe in easeful rather than forceful change (where possible!), and I’ve found that simply by holding the intention, things begin to shift at a deep level.
If it’s something that relates to something external I will make a deadline/set a date as soon as possible and share my commitment with a friend (I have several accountability buddies on call :)). I can be quite radical and once I’ve made a decision I often take action immediately without giving more space for deliberation (my decisions - all of them nowadays - come from my gut and I trust them implicitly and wholeheartedly).
When resistance shows up it usually comes in the form of procrastination, but has become so sneaky that it can sometimes fool me for a while before I see what’s actually going on. Then it’s a question of getting still and probing for the fear behind the resistance. Once I’ve identified it I take time to be with it, acknowledge it fully, thank it, and hold it in my heart.
Often I’ll do a reframing exercise where I take stock of my entire state of being (in the fear mindset) and do a full 180 take on alternative (energized and joyful) alternative states. This helps to shift me back into my power and places the focus on joy and desire and away from fear and contraction.
Stephanie Lisa Kelly | A Quiet Revolution
I break down the change I desire into manageable steps. Saying something like “I’m going to quit my 9-5 job and start my own business in 2 months” is unreasonable and over-whelming.
Change needs to be a habit and habits can’t be learned in one day. I find that smaller milestones can be helpful for myself and my clients.
I also feel really knowing yourself and discovering what resistance looks like for you is key to moving toward lasting change. Identify it for yourself and then looking underneath the resistance. There is always some wisdom there and usually it’s around fear of change. Once you understand this, it's so much easier to move forward.
Liz Applegate | ElizabethApplegate.com
For me it means just continuing to take small steps towards what I want and being ok with the ups and downs. I’ve come to realize that resistance is just a part of the process, not a reason to stop. Resistance used to keep me stuck, but now it’s something I can recognize and be curious about.
I also look at the big picture. Like I said, I’ve come to just expect the ups and downs so when they happen it doesn’t throw me off.
I know there will be times when nothing seems to be working, but I keep going anyway. Because I know that a few days later everything might just seem to click. It’s all just part of the process.
Julie Houghton | JulieHoughton.com
I've found that simply writing out the change, and the basic steps is the best way to go. I've taken to writing out my "ten in three" which is basically the ten things I want to do over the next three years. This helps guide me, and when I'm making decisions, I already have the framework in place. I know (more or less) where I want to be in three years.
Life coach training helped me identify what resistance looks like for me. It sometimes involves eating a lot of tortilla chips, and researching topics that seem to be totally unrelated to my task. The good news is that once I see that something truly is resistance, I am more patient with it. I change the behavior and get back on track. Patience is the key, as is not over-reacting. And if I've gotten off track, just getting back on track is the best way to move forward.
Paula Jenkins | Jump Start Your Joy
One of the strongest beliefs I have is that change must happen in baby steps to be successful. As someone who would LOVE to wave a magic wand or hit fast forward, this is a place where I need to remember to take my own advice. When I notice resistance, I focus on progress. How far have I come in the last week, month, year? This helps me recognize that change is happening, and look for the next baby step.
Lara Heacock | Kind Over Matter